One of those days

As summer has officially started here in New England and all of my students are out of school and on their way to camps and vacation, I am now figuring out what to do with all my free time. As a teenager I never left for the entire summer or even half. Our vacations were to Buttermilk campground in Island Park. One time we went over near Jackson Hole and on to Yellowstone, but all of those places are within a two hour drive of my childhood home, and we usually only camped for a week. It really was the best! Now as an adult attempting to put some roots down, its hard to really break away from the world and go on vacation, especially when funds are low and all extra funds go toward traveling across the country to see family... (the number of trips to someplace exotic we could have taken makes me a little melancholy) sigh. 

However this post is not supposed to be about vacationing. No, this post has to do with my voice. To fill my new found free time I have been working on putting together a recital, and I am quite excited about it. I have selected a few pieces from one of my favorite composers Edvard Grieg. Op. 48, which I discovered after inheriting boxes of music from my Grandma Doggett and her sisters, it has some very beautiful gems. I also decided to invest some time in a little Ernest Chausson Op. 2, mainly because I have never sung anything by him and I find the melodies quite charming. I have also decided to perform a little redo of Benjamin Britten's "On this Island." This took some time to realize, and when I say time, I mean a few years. 

It has come to my attention, that as much as we would like to think that we are invincible and happy creatures all the time, tragedy still happens and we NEED to acknowledge that. This piece of work symbolizes a time in my life when tragedy came at an untimely place. I sang this as part my master's recital five years ago, only days after a close friend's younger brother took his life, he also happened to be one of my twin younger brothers' dear friends. Many of the pieces on my recital made reference to death, and I was spent. I cried hard between each set, and even while on stage, although no one was close enough to see that. People remarked later that I seemed distant and un-engaged. If only they knew. And that wasn't everything, earlier that semester, my heart was broken by a guy I thought I would marry. I had a ridiculous amount of music to memorize for the opera, and an awesome workload from my final semester of school. With all of that being said, I have come to understand something about myself. I was scarred from that experience. Singing has not been the same since then. I have felt closed off and almost forced in my musical intentions. Thus I have decided to make amends with that music that left me wanting. 

There is more to my human tragedy story that I may possibly share at a later time, but today I want to focus on the issue at hand. My voice is still unstable. My sister in law just had vocal surgery and when I asked her about how she knew she had a problem, she described some symptoms that sounded similar to my situation, but not entirely the same. So yesterday I began researching again the affects of thyroid problems on the voice, only this time I was more specifically asking about singing. It was sad to see the number of unanswered people who had already asked such questions on the various medical related websites. The best answer that anyone gave was that they noticed a significant change once they began a medication that included T3 which, for some strange reason, doctors don't normally prescribe. I also wonder if this has something to do with the fact that every time I exercise it takes a week to recuperate my energy. 

I miss the freedom of sitting at a piano and trusting that the sound that comes out of me will be easy.

I miss the body I once had that could work hard day after day without exhaust.

I miss the optimistic person that I now have to fight to still be. 

Still Here and Singing

I almost forgot about this blog. But I am still around and finally able to enjoy New England since I recently quit my management position at Marmalade in Belmont. I won't lie, it has put Elijah and I in more financially difficult circumstances than I would like to admit, but I am happy and I think he is too. I've been able to manage the thyroid and other hormonal issues to the point where I feel more like myself, and I think that is in large part because I got rid of unnecessary stress. There has also been a shift in the way I think about myself, and the way I eat. It is important to remember that one of the greatest teachers out there is our own body, and I have spent the past four years learning from it.

Eli now works at a bank during the day, and sings in a group called "Genesis"  every couple of months. Plus he still substitutes at various churches in the Boston area. I still teach private voice lessons and am trying to get back into the swing of singing myself, At one point in time singing was a piece of really delicious cake that I got to eat every day, and I didn't realize how easy I had it. Now, it takes a lot of brain power to get past the trauma of having an unstable voice for three years. It was like one day I was a Mezzo and the next a Soprano. It was never consistent because my hormones were out of wack. Plus I picked up a lot of bad technical things, trying to overcompensate for what I thought I was hearing. But like I said, I am feeling more like myself and still believe that I have it in me to do this. I have always had the desire and the talent, now I just need to trust myself. When I named this blog years ago, I had no idea how much the subtitle would become a motivation. Thanks to Mama Jones who came up with it. I really hope that this experience has made me more sensitive to the struggles that other singers may go through.

Story of a year gone by

So it has been nearly a year since last I wrote, mainly because who would really want to read this without some pictures to go along? But the truth is that this could be a great opportunity to get some journal writing in.

Since my last post, I have gotten engaged, moved out of my apartment, gotten married, found out I have some awesome health issues, was made manager at work, had our car break down, got robbed on our honeymoon, and moved into our first real apartment! Whew!! too much time to cover entirely in one sitting.

So to start with Part One: Getting Engaged.

Eli and I went to his cousin Andrew's house for Thanksgiving. The two of us took a little break from everyone and sat down on the couch in the kids play room. We began talking about life and such when Eli said something along the line of, "why don't we get married?" I said something to the effect of, "because you haven't asked me." And that was that, we decided that there really wasn't any use in waiting for the inevitable, I loved him, and he loved me. Quite frankly I could not imagine loving anyone as much as I love him. We set the date for June 1, 2013 which to the folks we live around out here, that was a really quick engagement, but to the people back home, they thought that was a long engagement. It is so funny to me sometimes how even though we are all living in the same country, there are so many different cultures within.
Back to the tale.
So the actually proposal happened on a freezing cold night in January, he took me on a scavenger hunt, that lead to an amazing restaurant called Harvest, in Harvard Square, we enjoyed the food and each other. At the end of the dinner, he told me there was one more clue, it led us to the Charles River where he got down on one knee and proposed. It was so cold I couldn't cry, but I felt it. The weather was painfully cold but my spirit was so warm I didn't care. Now looking back, it was so surreal, it almost felt like a dream, and so goes the next six months.

That's pretty neat

I like nature, and a week ago I went for a walk with Eli and his brother Joseph through Mt. Auburn Cemetery. It was the first landscaped cemetery in the United States, and it is beautiful. While I was there I decided to pick up some pine cones with the intent of using them in some kind of decoration. A few days later I raked my back yard and found a bunch of sticks that were intertwining around each other, I thought that also had the potential for something crafty. 

Below is the result, and by the way, it cost me nothing! The vase is my roommates!  

The end of this is looks like pumice, cool huh?

Dresser to Impresser

My boss was trying to sell this piece a few months ago at her yard sale... fortunately for me nobody bought it, and her husband wanted it out of their storage. She had painted the whole thing white some years ago, how many? I do not know, but I thought it was time to it some TLC of my own.

As you can see when she painted it, she painted right over the handles, which is not a bad thing, considering they were probably a nasty strange brassy green color before.

 First, I had to take out the screws... Whenever I use a Phillips I think of Dad and his story. I think he was in Japan and someone asked him about a "plus" or "minus" personally I think that is genius, because then there would be no doubt which one is which. 

Look how cute that screw is sitting all by itself

 Now it is hiding because of this awful paint job I did. I had this blue and green paint that I thought I would try using to see how it looked on the dresser... DISGUSTING, that's all there is to it.

 So I painted it a nice glossy black and voila we have a winner.

 When I got the dresser some of the edges were a little banged up, and there was build up of some sort of glue or something. So I got out my sand block and got to work, getting all the stuff off, and beating the rest of the edges so it looks like its on purpose. Thank you mom for letting me help you paint and sand crafts with you, those skills have proven very handy since I have moved.

 I don't have a reason for putting this picture on except for the mere fact I like the shot.

Cake Night

This is Monica, she is getting warmed up for the coolest roommate cake night ever!

 This is almost like fairy dust in the sense that it is pretty much magic. All that is required is a paint brush (as seen to the left) and gum-paste to decorate.

Here we have some petals and leaves that have already been fairy dusted

 Here am I putting fairy dust on the petals.

These little girls were experiments... I think they turned out pretty cute.

Here is my first lily. Monica had to assemble but I pretty much did the rest... and can you tell I am so proud of myself?

I wanted to make a lily like the kind Dad has out front, so we mix in the die to make this orange color.

 All I have to say is Booyah we are awesome. 

Rocky

  Apparently I am afraid of a raccoon. The other night I came home from a Relief Society Choir practice and when I got out of my car I saw something out of the corner of my eye, when I looked it was the fattest raccoon I had ever seen (actually the only raccoon I have ever seen), we both stared at each other for about a minute, then I slowly made my way toward him/her when all of the sudden it started hissing at me!!!!!! AHHHH! so then I backed away, its chubby little body slowly came down the porch steps never taking its eyes off of me and then it bolted down the driveway away from me. When I ran to the door I couldn't find my key for the back door and it smelled disgusting, almost like a skunk but not, who knew they stink too? Once I made it safely inside, he crept back to our porch, so my roommate, her boyfriend, and I all watched as it somehow managed to get its fat little body onto our recycling can and then use its paws to open our garbage can and then go at the trash. We really wanted him to fall into the garbage can, unfortunately he didn't. Then I had the question what do raccoon s eat?

I looked it up, and they like fruits and nuts... in case you wanted to know too.

Dad named him Rocky after a Beatle's song

Z goal check off

So, as many of you know, I have a list of lifelong goals called, "Z Goals" and yes there is an actual list. On this list is a goal that some may say is dumb, it is to be in a hurricane. Well thanks to Sandy making her way up the East coast I finally had that experience. Granted it wasn't as scary by the time it reached Boston, but I still saw many fallen trees and fences blown down.

Here is some water we set aside just in case. We also filled up the bathtub and my roommate bought lots of bottled water 4 cases to be exact. People in Maryland actually needed this because apparently one of their sewage plants began spewing sewage back out.

Here we have raindrops on the window... dramatic I know.

Here we have more rain, unfortunately you cannot see how much the wind was really blowing in these pictures but trust me it was.

The only side affect we had, was a leak in my roommates room. Sorry Monica.

You... Light up my life...

So my head light went out... and since I don't like spending money right now, I decided to change the bulb myself.

I found instructions online that weren't very helpful, because they said to push some plastic knob, do you see a knob in this picture? Yep me neither. SO I looked up my car specifically (Chevy Aveo) and found instructions saying I needed to take the rubber black thing off first then unhook the power source.

Something that may or may not be new information to you, is that when you replace a light bulb for your car, you should not touch the glass of the bulb with your bare fingers. The oils from your skin will react with the bulb, and shorten its life as soon as the same day!!!!! 

Not gonna lie, I feel pretty awesome, especially with my red nails :)

Cake

My roommate makes cakes.

She bakes and bakes and bakes.

She frosts the cakes,

And fixes my mistakes,

All in all, she takes the cake.

 I only helped with the top layer, the rest I just watched. 

Project: Beautify the Dining Room

Remember this old thing from a week ago? Well, there were four of them and now they have been touched by the graces of a can and given a new lease on life.

Say hello to my little friends!

These coasters are beautiful, vintage, and oh so shiny after I finally figured I could use silver polish to brighten them up. What is even better is that I bought these for under $4 at a second hand store. Curtis (my roommates boyfriend) told me he thought they were kind'of dingy when he first saw them. Now he likes to look at them. I must say I agree. 

The final setting is brought to you in part by my two roommates, the sister missionaries, Grandma, and myself.

One roommate helped sand down and paint the black table, it was an ugly greenish brown before. 

Another painted the yellow chair but ended up in somewhat of a mess because the paint she was using was quite thin and dripped a lot, plus she found the place mats that almost perfectly match the chairs.

Grandma is responsible for the awesome vintage orange candy dish that nicely ties everything together. 

Sister missionaries found the chairs on the side of the road and thought of me when they saw them. (They knew I was looking for wooden chairs with character)

It took a lot of time but I finally was able to finish the chairs and picture frames (along the back wall) today. 

The best part is that the only money spent on this project was spray paint, and cost of gas for me to pick up the table and chairs, and yes they fit in my car.

Our next project for this room will be creating the artwork for our frames!

Curse you internet connection!

So you may have wondered what happened to me. Yes I have been busy, but that is not the biggest reason I have neglected my blog. For some strange reason my computer likes to pick and choose when it wants to connect to the internet. Lucky for me I have and Ipod touch that will still pick up the signal so I can check my email... But I have been really sad about not getting the chance to update.

First off, BIRD LADY IN THE PARK

Awesome I know

My roommate goes to culinary art school, and brings beautiful things like this home.

Side View (the most delicious melt in your mouth pastry ever!)

Without this guy, I probably would have starved to death, the saying "no mon no fun" really means "no mon no anything!!!!" But its all good now, I have a job and students. 

MY ROOM! (or at least the part I want you to see, some of the ceiling tiles on the other side of the room are nailed into the ceiling (hahaha) guess that is why I have such cheap rent.

(PS judging by this picture can you tell what my favorite color is?)

Working in the garden I found all sorts of nails and shards of glass, and this is what I am doing with it

STAY AWAY FROM MY JELLO!

 More pieces of junk

 My next project!

Cape Cod

So our ward had a day at the beach, aka cape cod and I thought it would be good to post some of the pictures from the trip!

This is actually a Christmas Tree Store, random... I know

She didn't really walk across them it just looks like she was going to.

Here are a few shots from some of the adventures I have had recently.

At Irondequoit Bay in Rochester 

in front of the Mayflower replica.

Ahoy there maytee!

Plymouth Rock